he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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