goodnight i made you a song goodbye
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
