CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
