this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
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