hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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