he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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