I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I wish you could order shots online.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
