dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
