who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
