Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
