bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
