Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
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