We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
