and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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