is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
