school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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