i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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