i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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