Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
