Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
