I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
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