yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
