Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize