Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
