if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The Olympian is in my bed
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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