I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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