Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
