just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
