hotel room ftw
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
