I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
