Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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