those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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