the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
