I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
