before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
