now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize