ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
