it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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