'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
