i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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