At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Randomize
