just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
