At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
God, I missed his penis.
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