these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
