My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
