:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
