he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
