So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
