I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
