I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
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