I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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