First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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