well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
