well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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