Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
