im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize