I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
