i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
